Monday, July 12, 2010

Giving Up

Ever since I first moved out of my mom's house, I've always had this picture in my mind of what I want my house to look like. I get really excited about decorating & I love interior design. I also love organizing & I love being able to go to a specific drawer for something and actually find it there. That's an amazing feeling!!!

The thing is...I'm not a real cleaning-type of person. I've never really been disciplined with chores, laundry, keeping up with the mail (at work it's a different story), etc. My mom, to this day, still tells the story of when I was a little girl and I lost my chore cards. Let me explain...she made my sister and I these cards that were basically 3x5 index cards that had our chores written on them. That way, we would remember what we were supposed to do throughout the week. Well, I was only about 3 years old and not yet able to read, so my mom (being the talented artist that she is!) drew "action pictures" of the chores on my chore cards. She drew a little cartoon of me (which was really cute, by the way) acting out my chores. For instance, one card had a drawing of me folding laundry, another card had a picture of me drying the dishes, one had me cleaning my room, and so on. Anyway, somehow amidst the chore-doing & my getting sidetracked, I lost my cards. My poor mother, she really did try to teach me how to clean. But for some reason, I just didn't catch on!!!

So, back to the point of this post...I got to thinkin' tonight as I was cleaning off my bed (as I do every night; my unmade bed, by the way) that I am coming to terms with the fact that my house is probably never going to look like those pictured in magazines and on other people's blogs here online. So much of my life has been consumed with me trying to get my house in order...and I'm talking YEARS!!! But the thing is that real human beings live here. And I have a package of Boogie Wipes on my coffee table. And I've been working on getting my studio remodeled for the past 3 months! And our bathroom counter has stuff on it that never goes into drawers, like our brushes, toothpaste, face wash, moisturizer, a container of bobby pins, lotion, and the list goes on. But we use those things every day! Why put them in a drawer just to take them out every morning and night?

Tonight, as I was standing on my bed to close the blinds on the window & put the box of clothes for storage down on the other side of the bed, it dawned on me that I need to stop letting this consume me! I really need to just live our life. Yes, there are things that need to be done. But I realized that I'm constantly so consumed with having everything perfectly placed, that I have neglected the every day stuff that needs to be done. So, I stood there on my bed and I said the same prayer that I said when I realized I couldn't make my body have a baby: "God, if you want this house to look perfectly clean and be organized, You are gonna have to do it. I don't have control and I'm giving up."

So, that's it. I'm giving up! No, it doesn't mean that my house is going to end up in shambles. But it means that I'm gonna just live life and not worry with how my house looks to other people. Sure, I would love for it to be spic and span clean so that anyone could go into any room at any time and me not be embarrassed! But that's not gonna happen. I'm gonna be satisfied with the fact that our kitchen counter has stuff on it all the time & our kitchen table is never used for meals at this point in our lives because we hardly ever cook or eat at home. And I'm okay with that.
"According to your faith, it will be done to you." Matthew 9:20
I stood on this Scripture when I had much faith. And then, when I stopped having faith because "it" was not done to me, this verse echoed in my mind. And then "it" was done to me!!!

I suffered from infertility for several years. After having four miscarriages, I finally gave up. I decided that it wasn't worth the heart ache and pain to keep striving for something that may not be in God's plan. Well, one month later, I got pregnant and carried to term! Now, I have a 9 month old adorable, bouncing baby boy!

Sometimes faith not only means believing that God will bring you what you want or times, faith means believing that God is ultimately in control. Our faith must be IN HIM...and the wants/needs will come...we can rest assured that He knows what they are!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Looking Great Naked

You look great naked when you have nothing to hide, when you accept yourself exactly the way you are -- right here, right now, flaws, wrinkles, knots, bumps, lumps, bad attitude and all. It’s not a pass for slacking on the maintenance; it’s about not obsessing over perceived imperfections. Be yourself. Who you are is gorgeous; trying to be what you’re not isn’t.

Friday, July 2, 2010

So True!

One of my Facebook friends has the most awesome quotes that he posts throughout the day. Many of them are very encouraging to me. And actually, while I'm talking about that, I'll just say that I have several friends on FB who post Scripture or a line from a worship song that is on their heart. This really is amazing to have not just one friend, but several, who follow the L-rd's leaning to post Scripture in their status. How encouraging! Anyway, here is the quote that got my attention this morning:
"The only people you should try to get even with are those who have helped you. Let God get even with those who didn't or won't." -Anonymous
Here's one that that another one of my friends posted:
"To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing." -Martin Luther

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

"Mommy" Quiet Time...Here's How I Do It!

For those of you who are moms (or parents), especially of small children, you know how hard it is to find personal time. I love spending time with my son & I've figured out a way to do it while feeding my soul at the same time! My little guy (who is 9 months young) likes to watch Baby Einstein videos. So, when he is starting to wind down from playing, I will put him in his chair (which is one of those infant-to-toddler it!) & turn on a video while I sit with my laptop on the floor right next to him. In the past months, I've just watched the videos with him, but I realized that I could be getting some things done even while sitting on the floor during this time (like drawing in my sketch pad to release some creative energy & feed my "artsy" soul)! So now, one of the things I do while he is watching his video is to put my earphones in my laptop and put on some instrumental praise & worship music while reading my Bible. I can still hear him if he starts to fuss, but when he's not fussing & enjoying the movie, the praise & worship music echos in my ears and allows me to relax & prioritize my thoughts onto the L-rd. Sure, it's not "true" personal quiet time like I used to have when I was single & didn't have a baby, but I've learned that G-d loves any time I can give Him, even if it's just for 15-20 minutes at a time. And even if it's not for an hour, while sitting on my porch at the break of dawn or the quiet of night, it's time with Him and it's sacred, sweet and personal to me. When we love someone, we want to spend time with them, even if it's for just a few minutes focusing on each heart wants to please the Lord and seek Him whenever I can. And so, this is one of the ways it works in my life right now!

Friday, June 18, 2010

I like this

"Signature strengths are your God-given innate talents & abilities that you have worked with & have worked for you from the time you were young. You’ve also upgraded & refined your know-how & skills with them. Playing to your signature strengths kills hopelessness & activates kairos moments. When you sink into despair, you’ve stopped playing to your signature strengths. Get your game back, make a comeback." ~Mark Chironna